The summer has already begun. Outside the light is blinding, skin melting and comforting. This last winter was hard on me. I was in Seattle apart from my family. I spent the majority of it wet and cold - climbing in and out of buses for hours at a time. There was a point that I felt as if I'd never be warm again. It was a shame really because the winter was so bitter - it made you want to do nothing and Seattle was such a beautiful city.
But now - the sun shines high and hot in Kansas. If it wasn't for my instantaneous sunburning I would lay in the yard all day - soaking it's warmth inside of me. It is hard to feel sad when you are in it's yellow light, radio on, windows down and you are driving by fields of green. The other morning I drove in with the sound of summer birds cheerily singing and I felt as if I was going to break into song like some Disney cartoon.
Then it hits me. Exhaustion. This schedule is horrible - I work at night, all night - in a stressful job to come home and clean, deal with my children and my pets. I try to lay down in the afternoon but the heat clings to me, to the house, to my mind. Sunshine is like coffee to me - making my body buzz and my mind blur from thought to thought - causing me to be unable to sleep long and soundly.
It has been weeks since I slept well. /yawn
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